“…and now I will show you the most excellent way.”
-1 Corinthians 12:31b
As an adoptive mother, the experiences I have had are by far some of the most difficult in my life. Don’t get me wrong- I am a joyful mother who loves to laugh and play with my children. Along with the fun, happy times, God has blessed me with circumstances that lead me to trust more deeply in Him. I am still in the midst of them, and I don’t have an end in sight. Every day I wake up and have to force myself to fix my gaze on Him. I fail: often many times through the day. However, as I have learned, and am learning to give up my own desires and expectations, the Lord is revealing to me His truths along with the bigger picture.
One of the Truths revealed to me recently is how love is the driving force behind adoption. Love was given freely to us by God sending Jesus to earth to die for our sins. Love was perfected in Jesus’ resurrection and completed in our salvation and adoption into God the Father’s eternal family. Ephesians 1:4b says “In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will.” How amazing it is to know the truth that adopting us gives God pleasure! We too can have the pleasure of adoption if we pay attention to the words “in love” at the beginning of that verse. Love is how we can be successful and have joy and pleasure in our adoptive families. 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8a tells us what love is and isn’t. We can use each truth to solidify how to love in the midst of the extreme highs and lows of adoption.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”
The day is good so far. But I’m tired. It’s our typical Thursday; a few regular appointments, along with some errands. No one’s thrown a fit, so far, myself included. I understand where they’re coming from. I can feel the sunshine on my skin too. They just want to run.
“Mom, have you decided yet about the park?”
Have I decided?
Let’s see, I have dishes flooding the kitchen counter, we haven’t done a lick of school today, I’m not sure what we’re having for supper…and then it happens. My brain flips into overdrive. I have a hundred thoughts of what I should be doing, and the coordinating guilt that goes along with each item fills my heart. Oh, I have so many things to do! I know if I go to the park, it’ll wipe me out for the rest of the day. After all, I’m supposed to take breaks and rest when I can; to not overdo it.
Then, I feel a twinge in my heart. I know it then, and I just need to obey. Who made the warm sunshine? Who made my daughters? Who made ME a mama? Who is it the girls want to glorify in their play? The answer is obvious. Ok, Lord, I’ll take the afternoon and enjoy You. We will revel in Your creation and create memories. Today, right now, I get it. It’s more important to give in to You, Lord; to obey You. All else can wait, and I don’t need to give in to the guilt of not getting things done. After all, if the Creator of the universe, of me, of my family, wants me to play with my girls, what do I have to fear?
Thank You, Lord for giving me times like these…
It is amazing to me how a baby girl can change into a little girl. I knew it was happening and I even find myself making mental memories every time I pick her up and rock her or comfort her tears. But even with the knowledge of her growing, she can look at me and suddenly I’m overcome with nostalgia…longing for just a little more time. One more aspect of motherhood that I need the Holy Spirit to guide me. I honestly don’t know how to let her grow up. I love her so much!